Little Old Lady Days

Written by TyroCharm

June 19, 2014



While most people may try to hold back the onset of age upon their youthful spirits, I like to observe, strategize and gather ammunition to make of my late years not just a marvelous golden era, but also a challenge in a war of wits against the world. I’m not conforming to a simple and limited life, comfortable by routine and or the ability or lack thereof to keep up with my visions of great fun. It will be the sight of a cute little purple hat that will announce to those around me that it’s either time to play, to beware or to get out of the way.

I’ve had many, many years to plot what my olden years will be like. For one thing, have you ever wondered how many elderly people out there are really just acting out of fun instead of being really forgetful or grumpy at times? I’ve watched closely the boundaries between insanity, and simple old people’s antics. I’m going to make it my mission to blur those lines and plan to get away with many silent chuckles at the expense of younger and naive minds.

I’ve also learned how fragile our bodies can become with age, but you know what? While many people will object vehemently for whatever reason to the use of a cane, walker wheel chair or, my favorite, a motorized scooter, I think I will learn tricks with each device. I’m going to make people stare in either awe or mortification as I seem to fall, crash or drop something only to recover quickly as if by a miracle. I’ll secretly enjoy their expressions and of course, their attention.

Once weary of gray hair, I used to color it mostly to match people’s expectations of what a professional well groomed appearance was. Then I crossed paths with a few brave women who made bold statements that highlighted their gray hair with beautifully styled modern and trendy hairdos and I thought I could definitely put a twist to that. Well, it took some time and of course, it looked awful for a while, but that was the point of the twist I had in mind. I wish I’d had more of a wild reputation back then because I could have pushed further into the unconventional ways of styling hair that would comply with the boundaries of an acceptable professional well groomed appearance at the workplace. I had my fun, they had their rules complied with, we made it work. Now I sport a trendy hairstyle with natural highlights that ironically make people ask if I color my hair like that.

I’m pondering upon these things as I sit with my journal by my window. I’ve been recovering from a nasty fight with asthma that’s lasted for one week. Passer Byers wave hello, neighbors drop by to say hi. It’s been like picking ideas out of a great pool for totally insane stunts such as strategically placing mirrors to make my ghostly image disappear quickly. I’d like to see the look on people’s faces when they pass by and seem to see a ghost at the window.

More that anything, though, when I’m old, I want an iconic cute little old lady look. I want a motherly figure which I already posses and it happened all naturally, imagine that! OK, that one is by default, but I can make it work. Second, I want soft lines to set on the skin of my face like fine drawings that describe the tale of a delicately lost battle against a toned expression, only to gain a decisive and dignified victory in the war of grace vs. plastic. Thank the gene pool gods that they have seen it fit to favor me well in this crusade. As for my hair, it already is on its way to a full white silvery tone of wisdom that is essential for my overall appeal. Lastly comes the hat, the little purple hat that I will wear rain or shine, while walking on the beach or wheeling down a senior access ramp at dangerous speeds. It will be that iconic purple hat that is going to take a while to find and that alone brings a whole new set of stories to tell at a different time.






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