Written by Margarita Morgan
July 24, 2014
I can’t really say that my best friend and I have a relationship. It is more of a symbiotic relationship between a parasite and a host. We each take our turns being the host, the one that leads the day and in turn, the other sucks the joy out of it. We’ve tried to brake up our friendship, but our respective families can’t tolerate the way we are with out our other self, they call it.
Tonight we go for a movie. It’s my turn to choose and we are watching, you know what? I don’t even know what we are watching, but whatever they have at the local film festival will be great since I like to support new, independent films. Maybe I just like to torture my friend, He prefers movies with lots action and body count so he’s sure to nod off during the film tonight, and I do enjoy keeping him awake. Don’t feel bad for him, last month he took me to watch a most disturbing horror film called Insidious. He knows I hate horror movies and those are the ones he chooses. On that particular night, I put one of the headphones in my ear when he wasn’t looking and closed my eyes while I tried to concentrate on listening to my audiobook. He caught me halfway into the movie and confiscated my headphones and my phone. See? While I may be annoying, he is just ruthless.
There is some time before the movie starts and we stop for coffee and a pastry. While I pick up the coffee cups, he finds us a seat and takes our pastries to the table. I already have my little paper pouch full of salt that I take from my coat’s pocket and empty it into his coffee. Without loosing s stride and quite inconspicuously, I walk to out table. My smile must betray my expectations, but I’m sure he didn’t see me and I know he will have a drink as soon as I place the cup on his hand. As I sit down, I realize a little too late that he has an evil smile of his own and in synchronicity with the choking noises he makes as he tries not to spit out the coffee on the table, I sit down on top of my own piece of pie. All is well in the world, however, my coat is ruined for the night, but even though it’s cold, he is gentlemen enough to put his sweater around my shoulders.
When we get home, He’s wife has not yet returned from her own girl’s night out and the kids are finishing their own movie night spread out in the living room with their grandma. I head for the large bench seat at the desk and lay down all the way across because I know my dear friend needs to sit down and write, he’s a writer, you know. He pushes me over, but not too hard, though I make it seem very painful and even grandma shouts a little chiding for his roughness and I smile proud to maintain my lead in the suck-the-joy-out-of-your-best-friend day. He writes away, I doze off until mom is ready to go home. Smiling, I let out a silent but deadly fart, I won. Suddenly, I hit the floor, the monster threw me off.
The Daily Prompt
On Bees and Efs
Do you — or did you ever — have a Best Friend? Do you believe in the idea of one person whose friendship matters the most? Tell us a story about your BFF (or lack thereof).