When Disaster Strikes by Way of a Fart

caillrn park

First of all, who has never had such a moment in your life when a graceful exit, or an imperious entrance, or merely a silent retreat into a corner has been loudly spoiled by an unintended fart? I would love to hear how it happened to you because I am sharing a vulnerable moment and I need moral support. I could use other words to describe the release of intestinal gases through the southbound end of a northbound individual, but why beat around the bush when you can just say fart?

First of all, I’m telling this story because yesterday, I was making a little video for my Youtube channel and right in the middle of it, my beautiful daughter farted. We were seized by an unending laughing attack and it made the original purpose of the video very anticlimactic. Caillen was laughing so hard, she continued to do little spit farts thereafter. if ever there was a time when the acronym OMG was appropriate, this was it! Not to make her feel bad, I’m going to share with you my own little story.

We were at a friend’s house for a family party. The kids were running around, the adults were all over the place and the football fans were watching the game in the family room which you had to walk across to enter the guest bathroom. As you can imagine, that little bathroom had many guests and trying to get to it became sort of game that resembled musical chairs. The door would open and many of us would start rapidly walking in that direction until the person closest to it reached for the door and left the rest of us just standing there, a little closer every time, but never the less, still standing and waiting as our internal combustion engines begged to be ignited. You try to be inconspicuous, but we all knew very well who our opponents were in this little game.

Finally, I saw my opportunity and rushed towards the open door. Unfortunately, I hadn’t realized there was a step down into the family room. In my eagerness to walk across, I neglected to observe my surroundings. There were a number of chairs along the walls where football fans had gathered in addition to all the others sitting on the couch. The room was packed, tension in the air as they held their breath during what must have been an important play. Crossing in front of all these people, I took a fateful step into the family room and I nearly fell. Yes, there was that step I hadn’t see before. The floor went under me and I became painfully aware of all, ALL of the people in that room as a fart escaped out of my nether regions and interrupted their lively TV programming. I can imagine the thoughts that went through their heads, “Do I cheer the winning play that my team just won?, or do I laugh about this lady and her tooting tushy?” I have no idea what happened in the room after I scurried away looking for shelter in the bathroom. Everything I heard through the door was colored by the mortification I felt thinking they could also hear everything I did in the bathroom. I supposed their reaction was a little bit of both, but I do have to say they were all very gracious and didn’t even blink when I had to come back out again.


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Bumble When You Work


Hard work is more fun when you make a buz about it.  Talk about it. Play some music or sing away if you think no one is around. Shake it up a bit and dance it off. Make someone smile or laugh at the world inside your hea (Inside voices can be a lot of fun). Whatever it takes, you may be the onlyone making the effort but at the end of the day, You are the one who will appreciate taking the time to make things better for you.


The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

Loosing live television at home has been a blessing, a concern and most definitely a curse, but I wouldn’t change that for the world. Today I want to share how removing live television from my home, a commodity that is taken for granted in out society, has been a gratifying choice.

Coming to terms with the fact that the rural area we chose for our very first home had no live television was hard at the beginning, but quickly resolved since we found more interesting things to do that eventually rewarded us with the addition of three other children in our lives.

At first we thought that it was no big deal. If we wanted, we could always subscribe to cable, trouble was that we didn’t want to pay for the installation of the cable lines to our area. Also, at the time, satellite television involved the purchase of an enormous dish whose installation was expensive as well. We settled for a TV monitor with an additional VHS cassette player, yes, the rumors are true, they did exist. Aside from rental videos, my in laws used to tape Cartoon Network for my kids and little as they were, it was just as effective at keeping them wrangled in one room. As the children grew and along with a home school education, it was not something we missed at all. You can only watch so many times the same movie (Hackers, with Angelina Jollie and only because I kept forgetting to return it), so we turned to each other for conversations, games and overall family interactions (gasp!), indeed.

As a result of non invasive interruptions within our family dynamics, we are very well connected with our children and the best side effect of our choice was how close to each other they remain to this day. When our older kids come to visit, we sit down to watch a family movie, a tradition that continues to enrich our connection as still provides a good amount of laughter and good times that cannot be compared to what we have outside our own little clan.

One day perhaps, as they build their own family, they can offer that same kind of opportunity for their kids to grow up interacting live with their own siblings and parents. In an age where personal, business and social cyber relationships outnumber our own relatives (speaking in general terms, of course. I’ve known some families out there . . . you know), it is important to keep people that are important to us, close and feel comfortable when we are with them. I’m sure there are many ways to turn TV addicted teenagers to be part of an amicable dinner discussion, but for my family, removing live television was the best way to make our kids interested in each other.



This post was inspired by Writing 101, Day Four: The Serial Killer